I’m not sure what line alarms me most about this staff warning notice which was on display in the juice section of Coles New Farm, rather conspicuously underneath the type of product it is referring to.

1. “Potential Micro Contamination” (’micro’ as in; ‘alarmingly deadly little micro bacteria fuckers which are so small they can burrow undetected into your brain and eat your soul’, or ‘micro’ as in the potential chance of contamination is next to none, but we just wanted you to know you’ve got your back in case)

or

2. “Do not sell this stock or put it on show” (Umm, that looks like stock on show up there, I’ve kind of read the sign and are you sure you know what you’re doing?)

I’m guessing there was a potentially bad batch of juice in circulation and this notice was warning staff not to put it on the shelves with the good stuff, but I’m also guessing The Original Black Label Juice company (who were, up until now, my preferred orange juice brand) wouldn’t be happy if they knew customers were seeing this sign, let alone the whole world. Too bad about that whole Internet/social media/blogger thing.

Fail.