It’s graduation time again. I hate this time of year. It’s quiet for a bit, while all the third and fourth year students drink themselves into comas and pretend for a few more weeks that they don’t actually have to ever join the real world. But, like a Powderfinger song, soon enough it comes - the realisation that it’s now time to get a proper job. In about a week the resumes are going to start piling up. They think a straight-A record and a weekend manager position at Baker’s Delight qualifies them to work in an agency. It doesn’t sweetheart. There’ll be a lull over Christmas and New Years of course. Some travel. Time spent with family. Then the resume deluge will begin again on about January 28, two days after Australia Day. By then it will be too late. Employers won’t be interested and business will be a little slow so thoughts of hiring will be furtherest from our minds.

You, you silly things, have chosen to study a degree in which supply of graduates outstrips demand by, literally 1,000 to one. Your chances of making an impression are about the same as a wave on your favourite beach. You might as well have studied arts and had a good time. You should have done something for society and got into nursing. You’d have gotten paid more as a graduate. As smart as you are, and let’s face it, you’re not dumb, but you’re not Secretary General material, you’re, basically, fucked.

If you can fight off disillusionment for a little bit and still want to hold out hope of getting a job, specifically, a job in social media, here’s what you have to do. And do it quick, before everyone else.

1. Find an advertising, PR or social media agency and offer to work for free for a little while to ‘learn’ and help out. Make a list of the best ones. Start at the top.
2. Turn your computer off and network; socially. Facebook is not a social network. Facebook is a place to stalk hotties. Go to industry events and ask lots of questions. Learn how to use a fucking phone and don’t be afraid of it. Phones get things done.
3. Get good at grammer and seplling before you applies or you will be ignoreded, or worse, laughed at.
4. Once you land an unpaid gig, give it a set time limit. Have goals you want to achieve. Have obligations they have to meet. Don’t take no shit.
5. Make sure you get your hands on briefs and your arse in meetings.
6. Work harder than anyone else. Be proactive.
7. Prove that you can help make the agency money. Find a way to do this. If you can do this you will go a long way. If you can’t do this, go work in Government.
8. Be awesome and extremely likeable. Be the kind of person people want to have around.
9. If you do happen to be a thought leader, you should be blogging.
   1. It is highly likely that you are not a thought leader.
10. Be patient. Do not give up. Hassle, nicely. Hassle again. Do not give up.